Today I managed to sell off the last of my brother’s music studio production equipment which has been with me since he passed away in May 2010. I can’t help thinking about his dreams to produce and release music which never happened for him in the fullness of what he hoped for.
Yesterday I was asked a similar question during an interview for an internet based show. So, what about when people’s hopes and dreams don’t come true? What about when hope gets so deferred your heart gets sick? What about when people give up on their dreams or lose most of their hope that their dreams will ever materialise?
Thinking about how my brother lived his life, is an inspiration to me. Differently to how I navigated my life in the early stages, he stayed authentic to who he was throughout his life. He nurtured his passion for music consistently throughout the years, leading a band and producing music alongside other endeavors. He did this even with discouragement all around him.
On the contrary I lived for quite some years in the realm of settling. I knew I was not completely fulfilled, but being so out of touch with the desires of my heart I was stuck and stayed stuck for a while, not exploring or even believing there was an alternative destiny out there for me.
Thanks to my brother’s encouragement, I dared to think about what my ‘ideals’ could be, if everything that had become normal was stripped away. It’s this kind of ‘blank canvas’ thinking that helps us re-engage with our true authentic selves, our values, the impact in the world that truly matters to us. If we can literally see our ideal lives through our imagination and have a vision for them, then we have our first breakthrough. We cannot have what we cannot see. My ideal life set-up that I very cautiously, and nervously relayed to my brother seven years ago, is not only becoming a reality but leading me to places and people I could never have even imagined back then. The vision has surely grown, and multiplied. Once you can master ‘blank canvas’ thinking, life becomes so much fuller. Once you can dare to believe that dreams can come true you can start actually making life decisions to allow them to come true.
So, what about when these dreams don’t come true? My answer is a question: – what is best, a life lived in pursuit, in aliveness, authenticity and full of hope or the alternative, a life lived of settling, safety, small thinking and never even seeing or imagining your amazing potential?
My brother’s life was cut short and he never got a chance to fully live out his dreams and fullest potential. I’m nevertheless, proud of him for staying authentic to his heart and who he really was and for never giving up on his dreams. All this despite struggling with chronic illness for many years and despite being told in many different ways it was foolishness. Somehow I feel he achieved a lot in just managing that.
Now I travel this road myself and lead so many others into freedom of letting go of their fears that their dreams may not come true, and daring to dream again. I get to watch amazing changes evolve in their lives as they start this journey of being authentic and listening to their heart again. So my challenge to you is to change the question from what about when dreams don’t come true, to; what about when dreams do come true? Just imagine!